Jackson David is here!
His birth stats:
- September 19, 2017
- 8:33 AM
- 8 lbs, 3 oz
- 21 inches long
It’s getting real.
Strike that – it’s been real for awhile. Now that we are in the birth month, and perhaps the birth week we are in a whole new level of r e a l.
It’s been a mind-over-body battle the past few days. We’ve had some big commitments coming to a close and I really wanted to be present to see them through. Thankfully baby has stayed put so far and things turned out great. Now let’s see how much longer we can wait…there are a few more things in the coming week that I’d love to be able to participate in while still in my prenatal form. But, as we all know, kids are not the most convenient of creatures (especially when it comes to newborns) so it’s a wait and see game from here on out.
Be prepared for the most anticlimactic announcement in the history of announcements:
Now, of course we are brimming with excitement and looking forward to Baby #4 joining the family sometime in September or October (and planning for another home birth in Mexico). We are grateful to have another life to welcome to the world and into our home. The kids already know how to talk to the baby and Leah is particular about making sure my shirt is pulled up and my belly is exposed when it’s her turn, especially if she’s ‘reading’ a book to the baby. Oh, and the name suggestions are out of this world. Possibly blog-post worthy all in their own right.
The reason for the wah-wah nature of the announcement is that I wanted to start writing about how I’m processing becoming a mom of FOUR KIDS. My heart and mind are already picking up habit loops based on what I think life will be like, trying to grasp onto some sort of plan to help us survive those first few months. Let’s face it – newborns are the most unpredictable creatures on the face of this earth. And for an INTJ mother whose StrengthsFinder score is all DisciplineStrengthsFinder score is all Discipline and whose DISC score is a soaring S, a tiny, wailing, inconsistent, irrational human is so hard to deal with.
I love them. Yes. But there’s a lot to process and I want to use this space to help do just that. Here’s to new life and more diapers!
Here are some thoughts I had during my prenatal care with Angelica, the midwife who attended our homebirth in Tijuana in November 2014. These excerpts are from an email conversation with a phenomenal woman who has dedicated her life to humanized birthing in Mexico. She has (and continues to be) a pillar of support and source of knowledge for the birthing community in Mexico and beyond. Although we have never met in person, I consider her a dear friend and close confident with all things pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.
Here are the things that have made my heart sing with joy (and relief!) as our relationship has progressed:
As I read that list I think, ‘Well, DUH!’ But then I have to chuckle and smile and shake my head in gratitude that I will be ‘allowed’ to birth this child as I was created to do.
It wasn’t long before we met and passed all three due dates we had for this pregnancy – one from the doctor, one from the ultrasound, and one from Angelica. They all were at the end of October, but from the moment we found out we were pregnant I had a sense that it would be a November baby. Maybe I convinced myself to wait? Maybe she needed those few extra days inside me to gear up for her big day? I’ll never know why but I do remember being at peace with whenever labor decided to start.
Earlier this month we celebrated Leah’s second birthday. Being that she is two, and really has no idea what a ‘birthday’ is, we decided to keep it low key and do a family dinner at her restaurant of choice (Red Robin). However, any time she hears the word birthday, she will yell, “Ee-ah! Bir-day!”, as if she alone has the right to this thing called ‘birthday’ and gets to drag it out as long as she can. She actually seemed genuinely offended when we sang “Happy Birthday” to her grandpa (my dad) a few days ago, as if anyone else dare have a birthday because that’s hers. Gosh, I love her.
Of course with her birthday came memories of her pregnancy and birth, which brought me back to this series which I have left unfinished for quite some time now. We are also wanting to grow our family in the next year or so, and my thoughts are drifting back to all things prenatal. I figured it might be appropriate to finish one birth story series before I start another one (we aren’t pregnant yet, but hoping to be soon!), so I’ll do my best to finish sharing about our first homebirth in Mexico (because you better believe that we’re planning for another homebirth this time around, too!).
I remember dialing the midwife’s number and listening to it ring, my heart in my throat and my stomach churning with anxiety. Jerry and given us her name (Angelica) and phone number ( 044 664 313 1267), and I couldn’t quite believe I was actually calling a professional, licensed midwife in Tijuana. Only months before it seemed impossible, yet here I was listening to the ringtones buzzing in my ear. Suddenly, the phone clicked and I heard a brisk voice: “Bueno?!” Thinking back, I’m sure my Spanish was awful as my nerves were racing, but somehow my story stumbled out and I asked the right questions and we scheduled a time and place to meet.
Soon after, my husband and I met Angelica face to face and it all came gushing out – our long journey, the struggles, the heartache, the glimmer of hope, and now a real life, flesh-and-blood, authentic Mexican midwife sitting in front of us. She was gracious and warm and down to earth, and answered all our questions (we had a lot!). After meeting her two more times over the next month, we finally decided to switch our prenatal care completely into her service.
She did home visits. She used real language. She asked permission before touching me or doing anything to us (me and baby). She used common sense in evaluating my health, leaving things alone when they were fine and trusting my body to grow our baby. We had discussions about birth plans and options; instead of being told what to do I was welcomed into a conversation about what would be best for everyone involved. If I had been in another country that openly supported midwifery, she might not have been my first choice as a midwife. But faced with the options we had, I was more than confident in her skills and our preparation to choose to homebirth in Tijuana.
My name is Jamie and my husband and our two kids live in Tijuana. We are US citizens serving with a Christian nonprofit ministry here. I came across your website when doing some online research about homebirths in Mexico. We would love to have a homebirth with our next child…I read on your website that you are no longer able to travel and attend homebirths. Would you know of any local midwives who are currently practicing in our area and who attend homebirths? Anything you could share with me would be extremely helpful.
Thanks so much,
As soon as I hit ‘send,’and the email spiraled off into cyberspace, a huge wave a relief washed through my body as I let out a huge breath of air that I didn’t even know I was holding in. I had done it. I had found someone who could help us. Now all I could do was wait.
Truth be told, my hopes were set pretty low. We had hit so many obstacles along the way already and it sometimes felt like the whole world (or at least the whole country) was set against our hope of a homebirth in Mexico. Plus, judging from the website where I found Jerry’s contact information, I half-expected his email address to be as outdated as his design choices (he’s a midwife, not a web-professional – no judgement here!).
Imagine my shock when I checked my email the next day and saw an email from Jerry. An actual, real, in-my-inbox email! I’m pretty sure I almost dropped my phone due to my excitement. It was short and to the point, but it held a promise of things to come. He was out of the country but asked me to send him a message in a few weeks and he would send me “my midwife’s friends data” who lived in Tijuana.
There it was – the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The elusive unicorn sighting. We had done it! We had found a midwife! Well, almost. First we had to wait a few weeks for him to return from his overseas trip but we had found proof that there was a practicing, component, Mexican midwife in our city who could be the answer to our prayers.
As my search for someone to help me find a path towards homebirth, one of the first names I came upon was Joni Nichols. Her website was like a beacon in the night. Somewhere in Mexico, there were people giving birth just like I wanted to! I started chasing that glimmer of hope with all my strength. Joni and I had exchanged a few messages while I was pregnant with Madison and we were looking for natural birth options in Tijuana at a hospital or birth center type setting. She was so helpful in passing along information and although we decided to use Birth Roots’ services for Madison’s birth, I knew she was the right person to ask for help.
Something I have learned through this journey in the world of unmedicated, midwife-assisted homebirths is that the majority of the people I encounter are simply bursting at the seams to offer help, extend relationships, and provide wise advice. It was so refreshing to converse with someone who supported our desires and spoke to what was best for our situation, instead of feeling like we were being forced into a predetermined set of rules and regulations. I’m not sick, I’m just pregnant!!!
Messages and emails started flying through cyberspace as Joni and I struck up our digital friendship once again. I caught her up to speed with my pregnancy and birth of Madison (where we had previously left off) and she helped dispel the myth of homebirth being illegal in Mexico. Like we later learned, she strongly suggested that we find someone who could help us obtain the correct paperwork for documenting a homebirth. However she didn’t have any specific contacts in our area of the country. She told me, “There are some great educators and doulas I met in the area…just can`t seem to find anyone to actually ATTEND the births as midwife or doctor.” Sounded like were in the same predicament.
I hit the internet search engines again, trying every combination of phrases and words to kick my research to the next level. On yet another desperate search, I came across this page. My initial response was to click right on through and not even pause to read what it said. The colors! The graphics! The rudimentary formatting and layout! Not to mention the fact that the midwife was a man and he was no longer offering his services. Something told me to keep with it, so I started clicking around the site and what I saw astonished me. Here was a man who had spent seven years of his considerably older years serving the poorest and neediest women of Tijuana in their moments of greatest need. From his home in Southern California, he would drive all hours of the day and night to cross the border into Tijuana to help women with their prenatal care, labor, and delivery. As I scrolled through page after page of detailed (and quite graphic, yet completely normal and natural) stories and images, I realized I might have found what I was looking for. Of course, Partero Jerry (as I learned he was called) would not be the midwife for us, but he may be able to provide that missing link to join us to what I hoped was a network of support and resources in our city.
I found his email address somewhere amongst the flashing neon text and black background of his now invaluable website, and with guarded elation sent him and email, asking for any help he could give us.