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I did it.

The entire weekend we were in Vegas, I did not look at Facebook a single time.

Having blocked access to Facebook on my phone a few months ago, I chose to leave my computer at home and see how life would be with out the social network connection to everyone else’s lives for a few days.

It was glorious.

I was with my husband, the person I love the most.  Our children were completely cared for and having a blast (and the adults who were watching them communicated with us all weekend via text and phone).

For three days, there was absolutely no need for me to see what the rest of the world was doing.

When those quiet lulls appeared in my day, I found myself absorbing into them instead of fighting them off with distraction.  I leaned towards the moment instead of trying to escape it.

This hilarious video clip speaks some pretty strong truth about how I expect the world to treat me sometimes.

How quickly the world owes me something I knew existed only ten seconds ago.

Social media fuels desire for external validation and approval for what I do.  Does it really matter unless someone notices, likes, or comments?  Yet in the grand scheme of history, this phenomenon has basically existed for ten seconds.  Of course I can compare myself to others and prove I don’t really use social media that much.  At the core of the issue, it comes down to my motivation as to why I’m clicking and scrolling the minutes away.  And my why has a lot to do with insecurities about myself and my choices.  Instead of allowing myself to examine those wounded places and search for healing, I dull the throbbing ache with comparison and judgement – “Ugh – look what that person is doing.”  Will I keep using Facebook?  Most likely.  Do I want to drastically reduce the time spent on (and thinking about) it?  Absolutely.

The world owes me nothing.  Carry on with my life, dear self, and be free from what I wonder other people might possibly think.

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