I’m realizing how important it is to be broken.
Until something is totally shattered, it can’t be repaired. Holding on to the chips and dings and scratches is not full restoration. I believe the lie that the battle scars mean I’ve been through something, have value because I survived it, and have a right to act/think/respond the way I do because of them.
(I’m saying that a lot these days).
God want fullness. Health. Healing. Wholeness. Restoration. Clean. Freedom. Redemption.
It’s hard to walk into His Kingdom and keep claiming my right to all the things that have defined me and all the things that everyone else did to me and all the things that prove I can act however I want.
It’s one thing to know that I’m not okay and there are things inside me that need fixing. It’s another thing to give permission to the Holy Spirit to have free reign on every part of my mind, will, emotions, memory, thoughts, soul, heart, and being to destroy, break open, and demolish anything that is hindering Him in me. Brokenness from pain and rejection only wounds. Brokenness before the throne of my Heavenly Father brings light and peace and healing.
Jesus – though you slay me I will trust in You.